Horror Media Ruined My Life.

I'm not going to pretend anymore.

I love scary things.

I try to deny it. I tell people, "No. I think it's lame." 

"Nah, not really into it. I only like a couple things" etc. etc....

...it's a lie I've told myself. I've come to this conclusion today while standing in line at the store (gotta entertain myself somehow. Christmas lines suck). 

I realized, however, that it has completely ruined my life. I can't walk down the hallway or hear the doorbell ring without fear. Everywhere is a threat. A lovely hike through the woods has turned into a battle for my life and sanity. 

For Example, even if the world looks like this:

I see it like this:

fear is a bad abstract painting.

I thought someone was knocking on my door today. Most people would be like "Oh? a visitor!" In my head my monologue went a little as follows:
"..."
*knock...knock*
"DEAR SWEET GOD ABOVE IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I DONT HAVE ANYTHING HERE I CAN USE FOR A WEAPON THINK STACI DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOW GRAB SOMETHING TO DEFEND YOURSELF DEAR GO- oh wait it's the cat."

or is it.

dammit.